ASOS, WE LOVE you.

But sometimes you take it too far.

Please, ASOS. This can’t reasonably be described as a vest.

You can see his man cleavage.

ASOS ASOS

What’s this, you ask? Just a t-shirt with a strip of tutu inexplicably attached to it.

So fashion forward.

ASOS ASOS

Over cold shoulders? Allow us to present… the cold elbow.

New rule: all tops must expose at least one body part now. RIP, tops with shoulders and elbow.

ASOS ASOS

This is a ‘cowl neck poncho’ designed to be worn over your jacket. Practical.

But really it just looks like a bib for adults.

ASOS ASOS

We pine for the days when jeans were jeans and didn’t come with unnecessary frills and holes.

Seriously, who can wear this without looking like a seven-year-old on holidays in Co. Wexford?

ASOS ASOS

Handy outfit for slipping into after work.

ASOS ASOS

These are ‘meggings’. As in, men’s leggings. Like all men’s clothes, they have unnecessary pockets/layers.

Two questions:

• Why?
• Who asked for this?

ASOS ASOS

ASOS ASOS

For that man in your life with a really enormous penis.

Normal crotches are just too oppressive.

ASOS ASOS

For when you want to look like you’re an extra in the video for Destiny’s Child Survivor.

ASOS ASOS

And when you love sausages and you don’t care who knows it. (Okay, we kind of want this.)

ASOS ASOS

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